Christmas 4.0

BY: CHUCK WERNER

Just weeks before Christmas and crunch-time was here,
There were presents and planning and of course the reindeer.
But this year was different, much more than the rest,
Some elves had just failed their last Covid test.

Now Santa knew Lean and of organization,
He had ensured space between each working station.
But elves can be fickle and masks are in doubt,
When the season is on and the mistletoe’s out.

So Kringle was pressed and had so much to do,
But workers were missing and more than a few.
Without his full staffing the work would be slow,
Poor Santa was worried and feeling quite low.

But Mrs. Claus understood I 4.0,
And figured a way to go on with the show.
“Santa, I understand all your frustration,
But just let me show you the new simulation.”

“You know we’ve been trying this whole year to hire,
And six of the elves have put in to retire.
“We do not have workforce to staff every station,
Perhaps it is time to adopt automation.”

“Instead of the staff taking parts to and fro,
We can use guided vehicles to get things to go.
Carrying toys from the workshop to shelves,
Is really a waste of our talented elves.”

“And here where we paint the toys blue, green or red,
We can get the work done using robots instead.
Those jobs are so messy with terrible fumes,
It’s really not good having elves in those rooms.”

And when they get back our dear elves we can train,
In programming robots, their care and maintain.
These new skills will help Santa’s Workshop to run,
And make the elves’ jobs more fulfilling and fun.

The last thing we’ll do is connect the whole shop,
To watch the machines run so the process won’t stop.
And as you are checking your list once and twice
You can watch the whole plant via digital device.

And with this new tech and those elves still in place,
The sleigh it was loaded and shot into space.
And Santa was able to bring all the toys,
To all of the planet’s sweet girls and dear boys.

Santa got back and he kissed Mrs. C,
And went to his study for quiet reverie.
Then he sat back as he opened a beer,
Merry Christmas to All and let’s end this damn year!